I Was A Big Fake

On June 11, 2011 as I was driving towards my mom's house I asked Jesus to come into my heart.

You are probably, wondering what is she talking about?  Especially if you are one who knows me since I was a little girl.  I am a preacher's daughter and grew up "in church."  I've grown up being active in church and have served in multiple ministries, taught various Sunday School classes, sang in the choir, led worship and I could go on.  When I was about 5 or 6, I don't remember the details, but I asked Jesus to come into my heart during a revival.  I really can not remember anything about that day.  I was baptized when I was 7 or eight.  When I was 9 years old my family and I moved to Georgia.  As I grew up I became involved in church.  But honestly I didn't read or pray daily, I didn't have a personal relationship with Christ and lived through the motions.  In many occasions I would sit and think and was scared that if I died I would go to hell.  I remember one night on our way back from church I shared this with my mom and she prayed for me.  But the fear of going to hell continued.  During numerous alter calls throughout the years I remember going to the alter and telling the preacher that I wanted to rededicate my life.  But the emptiness and scared feeling continued in my heart.  I brushed it off and convinced myself that it was the devil making me doubt my salvation.  

I continued through life, graduated high school and went to college.  I remember going to camp with Joseph's church the summer before going to college and really getting into God's word.  I would read the bible and I studied my devotion, but it always felt forced.  There were even times when I would read my bible to try to gain my dad's acceptance or to show him that I was a good girl.  The time came to pack up and go to college.    During the first few weeks I continued my routine of reading my bible, but slowly my bible found a permanent spot on the shelf.  Here comes the part of my life that I am not proud of... I started to hang out with the wrong crowd.  Many of them from the place where I worked.  Here is where the drinking and smoking began and slowly the clubbing and bar hopping followed.  My life rapidly became a total disaster and to my embarrassment I was still very involved in church.  Not so much for myself or God, but for my parents I think. I kept telling myself that I would change my life later when I got married and had kids.  Slowly I pulled away from everything that I knew.  I quit going home on the weekends, lied to Joseph and to my friends.  I spent not only weekends partying, but slowly my weekdays were spend partying also.  I broke up with Joseph and did things that I am ashamed of doing.  My life was a total wreck.  Joseph and I were engaged and I returned my ring to him.  On that night I went to a party... my DD ended up drinking and I had no way of getting home.  I called Joseph...him and my friend came and picked me up.  During our break up he spent a lot of time hurt and hoping that I would come back to him, but on this night he was done with me.  He was ready to drop me off at my sorority house and drive away.  We sat and talked in his Jeep for hours...mostly me begging and telling him that I was going to change.  After that I promised him I would be different and I was.  I "grew up" and we were married.  Years went by and we struggled to find a church where we were both happy.  In September or October of 2008 we went to watch Fireproof.  After the movie as we drove home, I remember Joseph telling me that he was scared he was not saved.  He asked me what I thought and I told him I didn't know.  He asked me if it was possible for someone not to be saved after spending years in church.  Honestly I didn't think it was.  I told him maybe he had to rededicate his life.  I remember sitting in his mom's living room and her and Rob telling us about a man who I believe was a deacon and realized that he was not saved.  She told Joseph he needed to get right.  The following day Joseph asked Jesus to come into his heart.  The transformation in him was amazing.  But I was still left wondering about my own salvation.  I summed it up to needing to rededicate my life and that's what I did...again.  Truth was nothing changed because how could I rededicate my life when I had never fully dedicated it to begin with.  

A couple of months ago, God started working in me.  I looked at my life and realized that I had a dirty heart.  I felt ashamed at my attitude and how unloving I felt I was.  I truly felt like a big fake.  Things in my life could not be better, but I still had an emptiness in my heart.  For weeks during the alter calls, I would feel a tug in my heart.  But I continued to ignore it.  On June 5th we began a new journey.  We started visiting Maysville Baptist Church.  The following Monday Pastor Brian and another couple from the church came to visit with us.  But most importantly he asked us two questions.  Have we trusted in Jesus and asked him into our heart and know for sure that if we died today we would go to heaven?  And the other question was have we been baptized after making that decision?  Of course Joseph's answer was an immediate yes... and I answered yes also.  I told him about the time in the car when mom and I prayed.  He asked about being baptized and I told him that I had not been baptized since the time in the car.  I didn't want to feel like I was dishonoring my dad since he was the one that baptized me.  His next response was well "your dad can do it!"  He left me with no excuse and told me to think about it.  

I thought about it alright.  I did not feel right asking to be baptized if I still had this doubt in my life and the fear of dying and not going to heaven.  I would try to do my quiet time on a regular basis, but always failed miserably.  I would read and not get anything from it.  On June 11th as I was driving and enjoying my quiet car (the big kids were with Joseph), I started talking to God.  At that moment I knew...I knew that I needed to ask Him into my heart and that is what I did.  I told him that I was tired of this doubt and I surrendered my life to Him!  At that moment I knew where I was going if I died and that was straight to heaven to see Him face to face!  Never in my entire life have I been so certain that Jesus lives in me.  I wake up ready to read His word and spend my quiet time with Him.  I lay down thanking Him and feeling blessed and so grateful for His grace.  I understand now what being "in love" with Jesus feels like.  

I struggled with writing this.  I was so ashamed for living my life as a fake.  I went through the motions for years.  I was not only kidding myself but all of you around me and I want to apologize for that.  I am sorry for being a hypocrite and for being a big fake.  I thought I was right...  I thought it was the devil making me doubt, but honestly I was giving the devil too much credit.  I am so happy to say now that I am totally and madly in love with Jesus.  

If you are my friend on Facebook you know that I've been reading Radical by David Platt.  I am so thankful for this book because it has opened my eyes even more!  It has also made me realize that I'm not the only one out there who has lived a "fake" christian life.  The following is from Radical,

"We have taken the infinitely glorious Son of god, who endured the infinitely terrible wrath of God and who now reigns as the infinitely worthy Lord of all, and we have reduced Him to a poor, puny Savior who is just begging for us to accept him.  Accept him?  Do we really think Jesus needs our acceptance?  Don't we need Him?

I invite you to consider with me a proper response to this gospel.  Surely more than praying a prayer is involved.  Surely more than religious attendance is warranted.  Surely this gospel evokes unconditional surrender of all that we are and all that we have to all that He is.

You and I desperately need to consider whether we have ever truly authentically trusted in Christ for our salvation.  In this light Jesus' words at the end of the Sermon on the mount are some of the most humbling in all Scripture.

Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?"  Then I will tell them plainly, "I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!"

Jesus was not speaking here to irreligious people, atheists or agnostics.  He was not speaking to pagans or heretics.  He was speaking to DEVOUTLY RELIGIOUS people who were deluded into thinking they were on the narrow road that leads to heaven when they were actually on the broad road that leads to HELL.  According to Jesus, one day not just a few but MANY will be shocked, ETERNALLY SHOCKED, to find that they were not in the kingdom of God after all.  The danger of spiritual deception IS REAL."

I wish I could put all of chapter two on here, it is so eye opening and it scares me to think that there are many more like me out there.  Living through the motions thinking that they can live however they want because they have a "ticket to heaven."  But as David Platt says "the gospel demands and enables us to turn from our sin, to take up our cross, to die to ourselves, and to follow Jesus."  Are you taking up your cross everyday?  Or are you living life as you please, camouflaging in the world and enjoying all that the world offers?  My prayer is that if there is any doubt in your life you will also turn your life to Christ and set all your doubts down at the foot of the cross!  I love you all, every single person that reads my blog, whether it be 1 or 100 I love you all and pray that Jesus is in your heart!  Gosh! Don't let one more day go by...I was blessed to have June 11th to settle my life, but what if I hadn't? 

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes..." Romans 1:16

Radical

My husband is not really "into" reading books, but this one has him hooked!  He's trying not to get too ahead of the study, but I'm excited to watch him read.  So excited that I decided to read it also.

Embracing My Imperfections

As I rocked Mackenzie Faith tonight and reflected on my life I've realized I have spent entirely way too much time worrying about the appearance of "being put together."  You moms know what I mean.  We want to appear as though we have it under control.  We want to be graceful as we unload the double stroller, herd three kids, grocery shop and not lose our minds in the process.  I've struggled the last few weeks and went through a week of almost depression.  But tonight as I took Mackenzie Faith upstairs and as I held her asleep in my arms I felt so incredibly blessed.  As I type this I have the dinner dishes in the sink, a load in the dishwasher I need to unload, a load of laundry in the dryer and washer, dirty clothes on the floor in the laundry room waiting to be washed, my living room floor looks like a sticker book blew up, and none of my beds were made today.  A few weeks ago I was so overwhelmed with my house and myself.  I felt like a failure as a mother and wife because my house to me felt like a tornado had come through, I had not put make up on all week and I believe I stayed in yoga pants and a t-shirt almost every day.  But as I think about how much the Lord has blessed me I am bursting in gratitude.

No, my house does not look like something out of a Southern Homes magazine, my car...well lets say the tornado that came through my house went through my car too!  It's hard when I read other mom's blogs and ask myself how do they look so put together?  I am lucky if I get my teeth brushed before lunchtime and out of my pjs before mid afternoon!  But as I sit here tonight I am embracing my dirty dishes in the sink because I am thanking the Lord for providing the food I cooked tonight, for a husband who worked all day in this heat to provide for us and enable me to stay at home, for sweet kids who ate from those dishes.  I am embracing those unmade beds because I am thankful that my children have a bed to sleep on.  I'm embracing the stickers on the floor because a sweet little girl played with those stickers for an hour while I cooked dinner.  I'm embracing my dirty car because I am thankful to have a car to take us where we need and want to go.

I am blessed...and today I am embracing my unperfect life because I have a perfect Heavenly Father who loves me and cherishes me.  Who loves me unconditionally no matter what I look like, what my house looks like.  I am done.  I am done feeling "not good enough" and "unfit."  I am refusing to stress about every little detail in my house.  I will clean and upkeep, but I will take time and play with my children.  I will take an extra five minutes to rock my sweet baby girl and I will spend time on the couch with my husband.  Even if that means that the dishes have to wait until the morning when I wake up.  Life is precious and no one is guaranteed the next hour or minute or second!  Embrace your imperfections!  I don't have it all together, but God's got it under control for me.  And I'd rather He have it under control than me have it under control!  

Thank you Father for everything you have blessed me with.  Forgive me for being so selfish and ungrateful.  You are awesome and you love me just as I am.  Thank you for everything you have blessed me with.  Thank you for a husband who loves me and cherishes me.  Who is true to me and our vows.  Who works with his hands everyday in this heat to provide for us.  Thank you for Bubba, Sissy, and Baby Girl.  They are my three precious treasures and I love them with all of my heart.  Thank you for trusting us enough to raise these precious babies.  Thank you thank you thank you!  I love you so much Lord and I praise and worship you.

Amen

Awana Awards

Another year of Awana has come and gone.  Josiah has finished up his second year and Sissy her first.  On Sunday we watched our littles receive their awards.  

This year Mary Elisabeth was in Puggles.  They played their video through the screen.  It was so cute watching them sing, dance and scream to the music.  I am so thankful for her teachers and will miss them terribly next year.  They are so patient and so loving with all our kids.  

This was Josiah's second year in Awana and first year in Cubbies.  He will stay in Cubbies one more year before moving up.  This year Josiah had to "work."  They would send a book home and he would study a verse that he would recite for his teachers.  

Receiving his award and teddy bear to pin on his vest

Thanks for coming Nonnie and Papa Rob.  Your spiritual influence in our lives is priceless.  

We love you!

End of the World

Saw this on a friend's Facebook Status...


The world did not end yesterday. It is just being rebooted. Please be sure your security software is up to date. Run a full scan of your life and remove any malicious files which may be damaging your joy, stealing your hope, or slowing down your blessings. If you need more instructions, please refer to the users manual, readily available 
or put your hands together, bow your head and contact tech support!

But of that day and hour NO ONE knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. Matthew 24:36

Warren Barfield - Love is Not a Fight

My brother will be playing acoustic while Joseph sings this at my sister's wedding.  They played it for us on Sunday night at my mom's house and the tears started.  Oh my...I'm gonna need to make sure I wear some extra waterproof make-up!  


The words to this song are so powerful.  They remind us that we don't give up, we lock the door behind us, throw away the key and commit to never leave.  When I stood by my husband on December 11, 2004 I vowed to love him forever.  To love him in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health until DEATH do us part.  I'm not giving up on him and I know he will not give up on me.  Everyday I fall more in love with Joseph.  I am incredibly blessed to have such a special man by my side.  During our dating years everything fell apart.  My dad didn't approve, I made bad decisions, and our relationship seemed to be coming to an end, but God had other plans.  I can stand here today and say that without a doubt Joseph is my soul mate.  He is my best friend, we finish each other's sentences, he knows me inside and out, he is my one and only.  


In the past year we've heard of marriages collapsing and it's scary.  It's been a wake up call for me.  To never take my eyes off of the ONE who is the most important in my marriage.  It's not me, it's not Joseph, it's Jesus Christ.  Without Him I am nothing, we are nothing.  But you know what...if we fall, if we fail...God is still there.  He never leaves us.  A couple of years ago Joseph and I experienced a "revival" in our marriage.  There were secrets from our past, secrets from before we were married that we had kept from each other.  Me in particular, I planned on taking my secrets to the grave.  It was something that ate at me every single day of my life.  I experienced so much depression and anxiety at the thought of Joseph finding out.  After watching Fireproof, which is where this song is from, we were changed.  A couple of days later, the Lord opened doors and I shared my secrets with Joseph and he shared his with me.  It was an emotional day, I still remember that sick to my stomach feeling as I told him.  But from that day on our marriage has been secret free.  He knows me better than I know myself.  God completely revived our marriage and blessed us immensely .  We have not been the same since.  I am scared to think of where we would be today if those secrets were still lingering around.  


I'm not writing this to brag, but i'm writing it because I felt led to.  I pray that these words will touch your life and your marriage.  If you haven't watched Fireproof, I highly recommend it!  Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for.  Don't give up, keep on fighting!

Love is Not a Fight

Love is not a place

To come and go as we please

It's a house we enter in

Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you

Throw away the key

We'll work it out together

Let it bring us to our knees

Chorus:

Love is a shelter in a raging storm

Love is peace in the middle of a war

And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door

No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word

That they can fall into

But when they're falling out

Keeping that word is hard to do

[ Lyrics from:m/lyrics/w/warren_barfield/love_is_not_a_fight.html ]

Chorus:

Love is a shelter in a raging storm

Love is peace in the middle of a war

And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door

No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us

If we'll only call

He will ask nothing from us

But demand we give our all

Chorus:

Love is a shelter in a raging storm

Love is peace in the middle of a war

And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door

No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I will fight for you

Would you fight for me?

It's worth fighting for

See the video here 

May 8, 2011

God has entrusted us as parents of Mackenzie Faith Eterno.  It is a blessing and tremendous responsibility to "bring her up in the training and admonition of the Lord."  Therefore, we dedicate ourselves to:

A personal life of devotion to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Teaching our child the Scripture and instilling in her Christian values.

Bring our child to church and subject her to Christian teaching and fellowship.

Modeling the Christian life before her eyes daily and therefore enduring that she has a healthy understanding of what it means to follow Christ.

Living in faithfulness and fidelity as husband and wife so that our child will see the permanence of marriage.

Demonstrating Biblical morality and thereby helping our child to form a wholesome disposition marked by purity.

Lovingly discipline my daughter which will preserve her life; teach her to respect authority and teach her the consequences of disobedience.

Giving our daughter to the Lord to use in any way that brings glory to Him.

These things we dedicate ourselves to before these witnesses by the grace and strength of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Mother's Day Sunday, May 8, 2011

Airline Baptist Church

(Taken from the Certificate of Dedication)

Lesson Learned on Easter Sunday

Everything was packed ready to get up and go to Sunrise Service at 6:30 AM.  I was feeling pretty daring and sure that we would be just fine and make it on time.  I love Sunrise Service.  As a child I looked forward to it every year.  There is just something about rising early and celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  Sadly we didn't make it to Sunrise Service and when we got to church all dressed up in our color coordinated outfits ready  to take a picture of my adorable kids, I turned on my camera and it didn't come on. Immediately I remembered I left my battery charging in the kitchen.  It was on my to do list to get, but as Joseph said "what good is a to do list if you don't remember to look at it."  

I was pretty upset to say the least.  Since Joseph bought me my camera last year as a "sorry I got you pregnant" gift (haha!), I've tried my best to take as many pictures as I can.  Easter is just one of those holidays that can not go without taking a picture to remember it by.  Not to mention the craziness I went through to find those adorable color coordinated outfits.  Joseph immediately turned to me and said, "babe this is not what Easter is about, it's not about pictures or outfits.  Focus on the true meaning and don't let leaving your battery at home ruin your day."  I wanted to sulk for a few minutes and be upset at the fact that I worked so hard for this perfect family picture and it wasn't going to happen.  I brought myself together and took in what Joseph said.  This whole weekend I spent entirely too much time preparing on the material side of Easter and lost sight of why we really celebrate it.  I felt so ashamed that I went out of my way to buy everyone matching outfits, buy my kids Easter baskets with goodies, but didn't stop once to thank my Savior for taking my place on that cross that day.  I immediately gathered myself,  prayed and asked for forgiveness and thanked the Lord for dying on the cross for my sins.  

We had a wonderful Easter service.  The music and message were so powerful and had I sulked I probably would not have left with such a joy of praising and worshiping the man who gave it all for me.  Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."  On that morning I didn't seek Him first and I definitely learned my lesson.  

After service we headed off to Nana's for an afternoon of fellowship with our family.  My sister in law took a family picture for me.  When she emailed it to me the next day I thought, "man,... if Josiah would have just looked straight at the camera this picture would have been perfect."  Again I paused and remembered my lesson learned and said, "you know what?  It's perfect."  So after teaching me a very much needed lesson, God still gave me that "perfect" family picture.

Something's happening at Joseph's grave 

Where Jesus of Nazareth has laid three days 

Very early in the morning as the earth begins to quake

Something's happening at Joseph's grave 

Come and feast your eyes on an empty tomb 

Come and smell the fragrance where Sharon blooms 

Then the Lamb resurrected will come into view 

And something will happen deep inside of you 

This is one of my many favorite choir songs.  I love the message and of course hearing James and Mandy sing.  Praying that you and your family had an amazing Easter and that you didn't forget the true meaning of which we celebrate.... The resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Have you invited Him into your heart, if not you should!  Believe me it is the best decision you can ever make.

Apples of Gold, Week One: Kindness

Monday was the first day of our six week women's bible study.  I am so excited to spend the next five weeks with all these wonderful ladies.  Apples of Gold is based on the principles taught in Titus 2:3-5 which teach six ways to enhance our spiritual and personal lives, the lives of our family, and the lives of those around us.  The older women nurture the younger women in the Word of God and encourage us to obey that Word.

This week Janice taught us how to make chicken pie, salad, English peas, peach cobbler, and her bread.  I can't wait to try to make her bread.  I just have to feed my starter started first :).  While the food cooked we had bible study with Sheila and learned that anger is an emotion; kindness is a decision.  We want to treat others as Christ treats us.  I shared with the ladies that I was in desperate need of this lesson.  Being seven months pregnant and pretty hormonal it's tough to be kind at all times!  It challenged me to be kind to others no matter who they are.  To look past their appearance and social status.  God wants us to be kind and if we pray and ask him to help us he most definitely will!

After our bible study we were able to enjoy the delicious meal Janice taught us to make. It was nice to get away and spend time with ladies who love and serve the Lord.  I am so excited and can not wait to see what God has in store for all of us.

A big THANK YOU to all the husbands who stayed with our little ones so that we could come to bible study.  Joseph picked the kids up from school, fed them dinner (pizza), gave them baths, played with them, brushed teeth, gave vitamins, and tucked them in their beds.  When I got home, the house was clean and the kids were asleep.  I am so blessed!

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God."

Titus 2:3-5

Puggles and Cubbies

I can not believe my kids are old enough to participate in Awana!  Josiah looks forward to it every week and is learning so much.  It's amazing to hear him recite his memory verses.  I am so thankful for Awana and thankful for all of the dedicated volunteers that help every week.  We had around 180 + in Awana last night!  Praise God!!  Josiah came home singing "Father Abraham"  he was adorable.  Mary Elisabeth loves her Puggles shirt.  She's used bubba's old shirt a couple of times, but finally got her own last night.  She loved it so much she slept in it and did not want to take it off this morning....so we let her wear it to school :)

Project Hope

Saturday morning our church hosted Project Hope.  This was my second year helping in the Salvation Rooms with Chip and Mike.  We took turns sharing the plan of salvation with the families who were coming through.   When I was put on bed rest this was one of the events that I was upset to miss, but God had other plans and I was able to help after all.  My prayer is that God will bless the lives of the families that went through Project Hope and that although they were not saved that morning, a seed was planted in their heart.  I pray that they will come to know Jesus as their personal Savior.  


I can't go with out thanking my hubby for staying home with the kids so that I could help.  Last year when he stayed with them during Project Hope Josiah was two and Mary Elisabeth was one.  I remember calling him when on my way home and him being ready to pull his hair (or lack there of ha!) out!  This year was totally different.  When I called on my way home he put the phone on speaker and the kids were laughing and talking.  They had a blast and enjoyed their "daddy" time.  Next year he will have a four year old, three year old, and a ten month old.....can't wait to see what my phone call coming home will sound like then ha!  But seriously the kids enjoyed their time with their daddy...they needed it!


Thanks babe!  I am blessed beyond words to have you in my life and so thankful for our marriage.  We make an amazing team and I can not wait until little Mackenzie is here.  Chaos or not our life is wonderful and I would not trade it for the world!  Love You, Love You, Love You!!!

Tattooed On My Heart

Since I've been on bed rest I have read a lot.  Everyday I come across a new bible verse that speaks to me.  Today while reading Philippians 1:6 and 1 Samuel 1:27 I looked for a piece of paper to write them down.  Then I thought...."I'm going to lose this piece of paper."  Not only am I already forgetful, but put together with my pregnancy brain I would lose it.  So what better way to record them than on my blog!  Here are a couple that have spoken to me so far.  My hope is that you will be encouraged as you read them too!

"being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him." 1Samuel 1:27

"The Lord bless you and keep you; 

the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;

The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful

I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

So for all of you followers, all 7 of you, comment and let me know what verse or verses have spoken to you lately.   You can do it!  It's not so hard just go to the bottom of this post and click on "click to post comments!"  If you don't have one of the named accounts, scroll to anonymous.  Write in your verse and submit!  If you submit it under anonymous, make sure to sign your name at the end of you comment!  Now that wasn't too hard was it? Open to non-followers also ;)  I love God's word!

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:8

Mommy's Day Out

This morning I had an appointment with the cardiologist.  What I was thinking when I said yes to an 8:00 AM appointment, I do not know!  Thankfully we made it on time.....well sort of....more like 15 minutes late, but thankfully did not have to wait too long to see the doctor.  I went in, they checked my weight 127lbs (thank goodness, 3 weeks of sitting on the couch and I'm still on track).  Next was my blood pressure, 100/50.  Thank God!  That's the highest it has been in weeks.  They did an EKG, which was normal and then sent me to the hospital for an echo cardiogram.  They also gave me a monitor to wear for the next 30 days.  Whenever I have a symptom, I have to press a button and then call in to send in my results.
The echo cardiogram was so neat.  They hooked me up and we were able to watch my heart on the screen.  It was amazing.  Joseph and I both thought about how perfectly God designed us.  All of our organs and their functions as well as every single hair on our head were perfectly designed by our Creator.  I just had to stop and Praise God!  Can I get an AMEN??!!
Think about our bodies for a second.  Think about all of the birthmarks, stretch marks (if you are blessed with them like me ha! Joseph calls them my battle scars from having our babies), every hair, every nail, every tooth, every wrinkle, every little detail....God knows them all.  Of course He does because HE created us!  Oh can you feel the chills! Makes me want to get up and do a Hallelujah dance and shout Praise God!  That's my God! He knows me completely and He knew me before I was in my mother's womb.  There is nothing that I can keep from Him, all my thoughts and desires...He knows them all!

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  

You Know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thought from afar.  

You discern my going out and my laying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord...

...For you created my inmost being; you knit me, together in my mother's womb.  

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, I know that full well..."

Psalm 139:1-4; 13-14

Fire Drill at 4 AM

Our smoke detector decided to go off this morning at four in the morning. Needless to say it scared Joseph and I to death. Josiah was in our bed and sissy in her room. As soon as we heard it, Joseph ran to get sissy out of her bed and I headed down the hall. The scariest part, is that our light at our stairs had an Orange Reddish glow. Maybe it was in my head, but I expected to see flames when I walked downstairs. Thank the Lord, everything was fine. We still do not know why it went off. I don't think Joseph and I have ever jumped out of bed that quickly.

As we put the kids back in our bed and calmed Josiah down, I could not stop thinking about the "what-ifs." What if the house was up in flames? What if we were stuck upstairs as the downstairs was burning? What if, what if, what if? All I could do is thank God that we were all safe and there was not a fire.

As Joseph and I talked this morning, we both agreed that there were a few things we needed to do to be ready in case of an emergency. We do not want to be caught unprepared.

I am thankful that if something would have happened to us, we would be opening our eyes in heaven and face to face with Jesus. Are you prepared? Is Jesus Christ your personal Savior and you know without a doubt that if you died today, you would wake up in heaven?

You may say, "man she's gloomy" because I talk about what would have happened if we would have died, but you see, I'm not afraid of death. I have a Savior who is Jesus Christ, who died and suffered on a cross for my sins and yours too. He did all this, so that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life with Him. I do not have to be afraid of the "What-ifs," Because I know who I believe in and He is almighty and powerful and has saved me from the depths of Hell.

No matter who you are, what you have done, what you have not done, Jesus loves you. He wants to come live in your heart. All you have to do is recognize that you are a sinner and you can not save yourself, know that you need a Savior who is Christ Jesus and ask Him to come into your life. He offers us salvation for free, it's His gift to us and all we have to do is accept His gift. When you do, believe me He will come into your life and be with you always. He will comfort and bless you all of the days of your life. Who better to have your back than Jesus Christ Himself, who died and rose again, who suffered a horrible death, who was mocked and ridiculed and did all this for you and for me.

Are your prepared? Are you bombarded with the "what-ifs" of life. Give your life to Jesus and you will never have to worry about the "what-ifs" again.

"One Holy Lamb washed my sin away

One sacrifice paid a price I could not pay

One holy lamb, one great I Am

One seed of Abraham

One holy lamb washed my sin away"

"But God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Hold on to Your Seats.....

That's right folks hold on to your seats because this story will make your jaw drop and fall over, if you are not sitting down. The Lord never stops amazing us and continues to bless us.

As most of you know, Joseph started North Georgia Lock and Key last year. When he started the business he had to start from scratch. Little by little God continued to provide and showed us that this was God's will in our lives. To start off, Joseph knew that he was going to need a car programming machine. It's a machine that programs the key to it's respective car. A brand new programming machine's cost is $9000.00. Obviously not something we could do at the time. Joseph was still with the police department and I was staying at home.

Joseph was able to find an off brand machine from China for a couple of hundred dollars and decided he would start with that. The machine worked great, but he quickly discovered that there were a few makes of cars he could not do. For example, he could not program Dodge or Chrysler models. It was hard for him to have to turn down that business and became frustrated every time someone would call with a certain make and model he could not do. He would repeatedly tell me "Maggie, think about all the money I'm losing. I have to figure out a way to get that machine". I kept telling him to be patient and that the Lord would open a way, but for now to be happy that the machine worked on the other makes and models.

A couple of months ago the company that leased Vince's (Joseph's dad) locksmith business could not stay open. Joseph was able to take back most of his dad's equipment and stock. He was so excited to be able to have their old programming machine, it was exactly what he needed. When Joseph tried to use it, it did not work. He sent it back to the company to get an estimate of the repair costs, and discovered it would cost $2000.00 to fix or he could upgrade to a new machine for $4000.00. Still too much for us to spend. He told the representative to keep the machine there and he would try to get it fixed later.

Well almost three months later he receives a call from a representative with that company. Short and to the point he basically told Joseph that he "got tired of looking at the machine" and fixed it himself. He repaired the mother board, updated new cords, added the newest program (that retails at $900.00), and he shipped it out to Joseph for FREE!!!!! Yes you read it right, for FREE!!!!!! He told Joseph that he knew times were tough and he should receive the machine in a couple of days.
The machine is updated with all the latest programs and ready for Joseph to use.
As Joseph told his mom the story he said "mom I lost so much money turning down customers." To that his mom responded, "yeah but you just made it all back."

I think it's taken me a few days to write about this because I still can not believe it. Even as I sit here and write this, I am still in awe of what the Lord did. There are times when we are so frustrated and feel let down because things are just not going our way, but even in those times God is working. He's working behind the scenes and preparing great things for us. There were so many days when Joseph would come home frustrated because he was not able to program a car or a car lot called someone else, but little did he know that God had something BIG waiting on him. He just had to be patient. Better easier said than done, patience is hard!

I am still speechless at what God did and I know that is just a little bit of what He will do. There is no doubt in my mind that when we honor him and are faithful to Him he rewards us. Being a christian is hard stuff, we are looked down on and not included sometimes, but the final prize is worth so much more. Worth more than being in the "in crowd" at work or compromising whats right to have a "little fun" night out with the girls or guys.

This morning in Sunday school, Kirk talked about the day that we will lay our crowns down at God's feet. How wonderful to know that all the sacrifices that we made through out our life, all the people who came to know Jesus because we shared the gospel with them, all the times we passed on the opportunity to go have some "drinks" so that we would not be a stumbling block for those around us, all the Sunday Falcons football games, braves games, we missed because we preferred to be in church, and I could go on and on. All of those things will not compare to that final moment when we are face to face with our Jesus, we are given our crowns and then lay them at His feet. That, is worth so much more than what the world can offer us now. All those things will pass away, but God always stays the same.

Programming Machine

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:2-4

My Name is Maggie and I am...

...a shopaholic. This afternoon the kids and I went to Tanger Outlets while Joseph finished up a job in pendergrass. Before Joseph and I drove off he said "you have a little spending money in your account." Boy was I excited. It's been a while since I've gone shopping, well technically not even a day...if you count my Pandora charm, oh and cell phone cover, and some shopping at Wal-mart, for the kids of course. Anyways you get my drift. As I rented a double stroller from the outlet center I was excited to think I would finally buy the tote with my last name initial I've been wanting. Ok if you know me, I have tons of bags, well thousands as Joseph says, but I think he's exaggerating. I still find a new reason or new need to buy a new bag. You girls know what I'm talking about. This bag will be great for this and that bag will be great for that. This time, I decided my new tote would be put to good use by putting my church stuff in it on Sunday mornings. Oh and let me not mention that I just bought a new bible cover that kind of serves my purpose a couple of weeks ago...hmmmm. Anyways, I went into the new store Lucy Lou's, so cute by the way, we walked by a perfect little bag for Mary Elisabeth. I couldn't resist so I grabbed it! It was on sale for $15 and I thought it was a good buy. I picked up my tote, and bought the some silly bands. What is up with silly bands anyways? My kids are 2 and 3 and are all about them! Not to mention they are not cheap! Since they were being so good, I let them each pick out a pack. We left the store and went to Carter's because I wanted to buy Mary Elisabeth a new swim suit, since her current one fits a little snug. While I was in there I went ahead and bought one for Josiah, thinking, if she gets one he should too. Now of course not thinking of the other 3 swimsuits he has at the house, I picked one up and headed to the register. All of a sudden my nose picked up on the fact that Sissy "made a stinky." So stinky it was on her clothes....oh me I thought, I don't have a change of clothes. Why I don't carry a change of clothes for a 3 and almost 2 year old beats me, but I can assure you I will start carrying a set from now on. I picked up an outfit and went to the register. We made a mad dash to the bathroom and "took care of business." You are probably wondering what in the world is she talking about...stay with me I promise I have a point.

I went to Crocs and bought sissy some shoes, we bought her some a couple of weeks ago, but she lost one of them. I just hope it doesn't "reappear" after I've bought her a new pair. I also bought some of those cute buttons you can put in the Crocs. Of course two for sissy and two for Josiah. To end our trip, since the kids were so good for me, we went to Toys R' Us and picked up a toy for each of them. Even though I bought them silly bands, bathing suits, Crocs, buttons for their Crocs, or whatever they're called. Wow I didn't realize it until now, but really, there wasn't a need for almost anything I bought. When I look back I think all I truly needed were sissy's Crocs and her bathing suit. I probably could have done without the Crocs too.

I truly had not added my totals together, maybe I didn't want to. When Joseph got home he checked our account and I immediately said "Please don't be mad, I didn't spend that much." Well, uh, yeah when he saw the total of my purchases he went crazy. Do I blame him? No, when he told me the total I couldn't believe I managed to spend that in one afternoon, not even a whole afternoon. Maybe a couple of hours! As he talked and told me I needed to take mine and sissy's bag back, (so sad) I sat on the couch feeling horrible. How did I manage to spend over $100 in a couple of hours. Now that may not seem like a big deal to a lot of you, but Joseph being self-employed and me...well a government furloughed employee, our pennies are a big deal.

I kept on thinking on how many people, including me spend money just to spend it. All of a sudden I missed my days as a stay at home mom, living on a tight budget and living the simple life. Although there were weeks where we would stretch a dollar until the next paycheck, there was something about living simple that felt so rewarding. Maybe because my trust in the Lord was so much stronger. I trusted in Him to get us by everyday. I kept remembering what Joseph said a couple of days ago, "Why is it that we trust God more when we have less and trust him less when we have more?"

There are so many people who are living paycheck to paycheck, I was one of them and in hard times I still am. Now I'm not saying shopping is bad, but I guess that's when moderation comes in. Why do I need a new outfit for church every single Sunday? Why do I need shoes to match my outfit when I have enough at home? Why do my kids need a new outfit every single Sunday? What is that teaching them? Are we more concerned about making our outside look good than making sure our hearts are right with God? Am I more concerned with the daily fashion trends than picking up my bible daily and reading about what God wants me to do with my life?

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you."" Hebrews 13:5

Being content is so hard, especially with all of the "new fashion trends, pocketbooks, shoes...etc," but we know that living a Godly life is not easy. Saying no to those really cute shoes or that stylin' new dress is just too hard! What will I wear??? As Joseph says "pick something out of your closet!" Now there's a concept! HA!

I heard something on the radio not too long ago. It was a guy promoting a new bible study (I think) on being content with our lives. He said that when we are not content and start comparing ourselves with other people we become envious. It blinds us from the ability to see God's blessings in our own lives when we are too busy watching everyone else's. I never thought about it that way, but I it's true. God has given my family and I so much, more than we deserve, but when I start comparing myself to others I loose sight of His blessings in my life. At the end of Hebrews 13:5 comes the best part! We must be content with what we have because God will never leave us or forsake us! Our young bodies, that we work so hard, sometimes too hard, to look good and acceptable to our society, will one day get wrinkly and old. Our clothes and shoes will become old and ragged, new cars will become old, our televisions will need to be replaced...etc, but God will still be with us! He will never go away, He will always be there. That is more important than the latest fashion trends or super cutes shoes and purses!

So for the next few weeks, with the Lord's help, I'm going to practice being content with what I have. No new clothes, shoes, purses, etc. I'll only buy what I need and not what I want. Oh this is going to be hard! Will you join me? Let's practice being happy with the blessings that the Lord gives us and not worry about what other's have that we do not.

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:1-2