Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Embracing My Imperfections

As I rocked Mackenzie Faith tonight and reflected on my life I've realized I have spent entirely way too much time worrying about the appearance of "being put together."  You moms know what I mean.  We want to appear as though we have it under control.  We want to be graceful as we unload the double stroller, herd three kids, grocery shop and not lose our minds in the process.  I've struggled the last few weeks and went through a week of almost depression.  But tonight as I took Mackenzie Faith upstairs and as I held her asleep in my arms I felt so incredibly blessed.  As I type this I have the dinner dishes in the sink, a load in the dishwasher I need to unload, a load of laundry in the dryer and washer, dirty clothes on the floor in the laundry room waiting to be washed, my living room floor looks like a sticker book blew up, and none of my beds were made today.  A few weeks ago I was so overwhelmed with my house and myself.  I felt like a failure as a mother and wife because my house to me felt like a tornado had come through, I had not put make up on all week and I believe I stayed in yoga pants and a t-shirt almost every day.  But as I think about how much the Lord has blessed me I am bursting in gratitude.

No, my house does not look like something out of a Southern Homes magazine, my car...well lets say the tornado that came through my house went through my car too!  It's hard when I read other mom's blogs and ask myself how do they look so put together?  I am lucky if I get my teeth brushed before lunchtime and out of my pjs before mid afternoon!  But as I sit here tonight I am embracing my dirty dishes in the sink because I am thanking the Lord for providing the food I cooked tonight, for a husband who worked all day in this heat to provide for us and enable me to stay at home, for sweet kids who ate from those dishes.  I am embracing those unmade beds because I am thankful that my children have a bed to sleep on.  I'm embracing the stickers on the floor because a sweet little girl played with those stickers for an hour while I cooked dinner.  I'm embracing my dirty car because I am thankful to have a car to take us where we need and want to go.

I am blessed...and today I am embracing my unperfect life because I have a perfect Heavenly Father who loves me and cherishes me.  Who loves me unconditionally no matter what I look like, what my house looks like.  I am done.  I am done feeling "not good enough" and "unfit."  I am refusing to stress about every little detail in my house.  I will clean and upkeep, but I will take time and play with my children.  I will take an extra five minutes to rock my sweet baby girl and I will spend time on the couch with my husband.  Even if that means that the dishes have to wait until the morning when I wake up.  Life is precious and no one is guaranteed the next hour or minute or second!  Embrace your imperfections!  I don't have it all together, but God's got it under control for me.  And I'd rather He have it under control than me have it under control!  

Thank you Father for everything you have blessed me with.  Forgive me for being so selfish and ungrateful.  You are awesome and you love me just as I am.  Thank you for everything you have blessed me with.  Thank you for a husband who loves me and cherishes me.  Who is true to me and our vows.  Who works with his hands everyday in this heat to provide for us.  Thank you for Bubba, Sissy, and Baby Girl.  They are my three precious treasures and I love them with all of my heart.  Thank you for trusting us enough to raise these precious babies.  Thank you thank you thank you!  I love you so much Lord and I praise and worship you.

Amen


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